Hulk
J. Hulk Wollstonecraft is a chatter and veritable force of nature known for his love of women, the performing arts, and demolishing entire cityscapes after being provoked into a rampage. His hobbies include DVD and movie reviews as well as producing the currently-running episodic hit series, Hulk's Gay Video of the Day. Origins During the high-tech weapons monopoly controlled by one of Virgin's random forays in the mid-1980's, a mild-mannered scientist of a name unknown unwittingly became guinea pig (although some would argue muskrat to be more accurate) to his own experiment in Virgin's Arkansas laboratory. Creating his own gamma bomb through technological processes lost in the translation (from what we are unsure), the scientist unintentionally pressed the inconvenientally-located detonation button on a control panel after attempting to swat a passing horsefly. While the explosion failed to kill him, it left him in a gamma-induced state which culminated in a rage that destroyed the lab. With nothing left, Virgin's Arkansas division promptly folded and the property was purchased by a chicken processing plant, using the remaining gamma radiation to power its vast chicken splatterers and furnaces. With no possibility of shooing him away, especially at risk of his anger-triggered response, the company offered him a job which he continues to work to this day. Rise to Fame One cold winter day in August, Hulk was on a usual rampage, most likely stemming from anger at the cancellation of his favorite TV show, Dharma & Greg. With the police and Armed Forces unable to suppress the rage of intensity never before witnessed, Hulk seemed hell-bent on destruction. Until a sympathetic hand from John Waters reached out to him. Speaking from the bottom of his heart, John Waters said the following to the raging scientist-turned-chickenworker: "Hulk, it's okay to embrace the gay." Shortly thereafter, John offered Hulk the chance to become a producer of his own series. Inspired by his generosity, Hulk snatched the opportunity and began living his dream. With the combination of his wit, charm and tendency to brutalize anyone who rubbed him the wrong way, Hulk gained the admiration of millions and his series featuring hundreds (or thousands of hundreds, or dozens of tens of thousands) of music videos, broadcast every day. Even now, Hulk's Gay Video of the Day continues to be a network television staple. Personal Life An avid philanthropist, Hulk gives a portion of the proceeds from his popular television shows to numerous charities, such as Blind Brazilians with Alcoholism Anonymous and the Society for Campy Fashion Victims, the latter in a partnership with his mentor John Waters. On the subject, he has been quoted as saying "Campy fashion victims are the saddest people to meet. And, they are the campiest people too!!!" Founder of the Saggybutt Institution, Hulk regularly spends time researching the finer points of women, but especially the titularly-referenced (HA! Tits!) Layla El, who it is his goal to one day personally contact. Upon Layla's historic winning of the WWE Women's Championship, Hulk was reported to have died immediately thereafter. Upon being revived, Hulk died a second time, until a third revival finally brought him back to competence. Hulk's pants that he was wearing at the time, however, could not be saved. Hulk's House Hulk's House is a sitcom created by and starring Hulk. It is quite popular despite it's controversial content. Basically, there's been more sex on this show than a porno. See also Hulk's House Category:Chatters